are we HUMANS?

The Hindu : National : Police killed villagers, say Gompad witnesses

it just pains to read such articles.
my first instinct was to say "f%$# you PM.f@#! you system".
then i mellowed down, thinking i'm being like a naxal, and this is how they get people show up for recruitment.
then i thought of writing to gurcharan kaur, pm's wife.

then i sort of forgot it all.

its a reality.we r losing our sensitivity.
wen srk and mnik and thakeras r concerned we are on fire.
but this.

dear rajdeeps, barkhas,arnabs and the local 24x7's...please.
show some mettle.
atleast that's what is supposed to differentiate between me and you.
or am i giving excuses for my inablilty?

this is one of those moments i felt ashamed to be an indian.
this time i will type india and not India.

are we human?
can we afford to keep dat tag?
its an excess, a luxury with the state of our nation being this.

Is our life 'sub judice' ?

What is it with autumn that makes me fall in love with it?
it seems i just can't get enough of it!
making me go to extreme lengths like typing...

"Solemn is the grace of her fall
Lady, melancholic is your call"

I have always felt its a season that closely resemble our lives at one point of time.
at 24 i'm not xactly the authority to profess on that.
but that's the reason i like autumn i guess.
it is vulnerable in age like a Ms.World at a paris nite club, yet stubborn n "i've-seen-it-all-dude" in memory and time.

perhaps its the age we all pass out of the school of life, and make important decisions.
Like Ray Gosling did.

I find that we are not God.But at certain occasions He just passes the buck to us.
And we take it, out of commitment, to a life of purpose.not just mere existence.
So isn't it time the laws of the land looked into this and treat it fairplay?

To whom shall we answer?
to the courts or the soul?


Annai, its Chennai!

Chennai nagaram.
a oneliner can probably go lyk ds.
Wide roads, wild autos and wider mouthed junta.

u cnt miss ny of these wen u 1st land up there, especially if u get down at chennai central like i did.on a sunday morning.21st february, dat ws the date of MHCET exam, and chennai ws my nearest centre, a good 600odd kms away frm home.

hopped onto the famed chennai mail frm aluva station by satday evening.but even the news dat my boggy was populated with girls aged nywher between 23-25 [i avidly study reservation charts before boarding everytime due to some inherent advantages present], did nothing to lessen the pain that was my cramped side upper birth.i had to virtually snap myself into 2 to fit in and sleep.even all my preparatns to sleep well [which included less no. of bags n stuff and a workout previous day to get myself sleepy-as i'm a poor sleeper classer]weren't good enuf for my comfort.

i woke up atleast 5 times and once to find that my cell had slipped away from my chinos pocket, but thank God it was that mch crammed up in there that it din't fall down. wedged between me n the crappy sidewall it was quite safe.not that ny1 wud even care to steal a nokia 2006 model with a loose back cover n a keypad resembling an old soiled bumpy mattress with all the letters faded. its actually in the recycle- ur-fone- n -save- planet- ad by nokia.

well saving the planet thing i will leave to superman n kryptonites untill they feel tired.
i hope any climate change activist isn't reading this.not that my blog is actually RSS'd/burned/bookmarked/oversuscribed by some poor soul in south pole or nebraska, but my hunch is not to trust my google analytics freaks at all. They say my blogvisit count hasnt changed in the last 5 months, and still stands at a 7.since june 2008.

excuse me.reading too much of dilbert off late. so where were we?or me?

at 5 am sunday i pop out of my berth like a moron..at early morning u dont want to jump down from an unfamiliar place and land on an young girls berth. u might find dat convenient but certainly not the girl and her neighbours [read family members,impressionable menfolk around if d concerned lady is good looking, ready-to-shriek-anytime-cronies-fellow-girlfriends etc etc...], unless she is one
ms/mrs[choose the salutation u like untill the next syamvar].rakhi sawanth. but she doesnt travel by train these days it seems...

so i climb down like a debutant monkey learning to climb down and head for the loo.it says indian style n western style.there r two options.but the end result is just the same.might be u can differentiate it lyk dis.ther's no water in the indian one..[remember lagaan? 1890's?waiting for rain and water? xactly]..and the western one has a chained cup n working water supply..[these britishers knew xactly how they wanted to hardwire indian railways way back 150 years itself! nw wat cn mamata 'didi' bannerjee do nw na...???]..[i wonder will it change by the time we have our 1st bullet train in 2154ad.i guess only karunakaran n rajnikant wud make it till then to see it and tell their grandrobots.."once upon a time ther ws this thing called s%$#.."]

ok guys i said no water at the 'bharat' option. but i discovered that nly wen i gt in.and i found that others had probably discovered that a bit earlier than me.[probably the guy who ws clutching his stomach near to my seat some hours ago..gee i remember looking at my watch n finding it ws 2.24 am n this guy ws awake..]

i just said " wtf.shit" and got out of "bharat" with my dear life. and the usage of the second mentioned expletive coincided exactly and "literally" with the circumstances of usage for the first time in my whole holy 24 years of existence.

ok lets leave d finer details. i reached central by 7.10am. its a maze of platforms you know.and its exactly like the harry potter boarding station..[forgot the name, kings cross?] at some place... i remember seein platform no.12 smwhere..don't knw if there're more!
appeared huge!than bangalore atleast!

got out quickly by following the crowd.light weighed luggage helped.acted like a secret agent, jason bourne, caliberated my internal gps n found the pre paid auto centre. while in the queue u have all these non-pre paid autowalahs just pestering you to come and get in ther autos.bloody hell they're aggressive!
and WTH they dnt even knw a smattering of hindi/english!

i smhw survived the queue time, and made it in2 an auto.my room ws booked, so hd got rid of dat trouble!and i tendered the xact change of rs.66 [for a 7km journey] to the autoguy [lest he ran away if i gave him a 100 rs note!!!]
these guys were so cute dat it looked as if they were rehabilitated from the erstwhile chambal valley!

they got their horses traded for auto's.only difference.life moved on.

hotel was a decent one. new woodlands, mylapore. if u wudnt mind 1040rs/day rent.
after a smooth check in, the bellboy showed me the tv was in working condition, but the moment he left the plug socket failed.it ws abt 8.15 nw and i hd to leave by 12 for my exam and wanted to charge my phone. so called the electrician..but he took some time coming..

meanwhile i went and had a heavy breakfast.bcos i cudnt afford to hv lunch at noon and sleep at my exam table at 2.30.hd butter dosa n onion uthappam.i felt guilty like a criminal.dosa was 48 and uthappam 55rs. i decided not to plead guilty again and avoided the rs.22 tea..a vegetarian hotel, but non veg pricing!ok food though.and a well preserved ambience like an old time hangout of the 70's.and a lady with accented but good english takes ur order.it was like a breath of fresh air.knowing that u r conversing meaningfully at both the ends!

i just looked around at the crowd..it ws almost full. 2 or 3 foreigners at a corner and rest all were locals.there were 2 old hus-wife pairs..rest were full fledged family breakfast affairs..
the hus-wife pair at my right was quite disappointed at the menu, myt be nt finding the right variety of dosa[they hv abt 108 dosa types here, really,dosas were born here]. the pair upfront were connoisseurs. i mean they were really hungry [i saw them ordering 3,4 times], but they really were dissecting the cooking nuances of each dish, pointing out the shortcoming to the hapless waiter who nodded like hell evrytime and said "aama aama" everytime in a baritone that would put amitabh bachchan in2 shame..Bt he ended up with a 20rs. tip!worth the trouble.
and a just returned-home expat mother ws indianising her 2 little girls to the food here at my left.one of the little girls talking like hermione granger ws saying "mummeey thdeh fooood is ghettin leyit"..i could notice it ws atleast a month since she landed as the brit accent ws slowly wearing off..welcome back!

my waiter ws cocky and arrogant and i paid him back with a next to nothing tip.
went back n had an hours sleep, worked out some problems, and hd some biscuits n started out for exam. had a real brawl with the auto driver, he ws trying to argue n muscle me in for an obscene fare and i just stompd off and managed another auto, bt with jst 10rs less! ws exhaustd and dint want to waste all my mind b4 the exam.

the venue ws opened very late and had to stand and wait for long.ws drenching by d time i sat down.a girl frm kerala sat behind me.some cusat students wer also there.gave a pen 2 a guy who dint hv a black one.exam wet fast.we had a examiner who ws very vocal in his accented tone and attracted a few groans but i found him ok n caring.much better than the going-thru-the-motion type ones back home i have seen.
i guess the cutoff wud soar this time.super humans from mars have infiltrated this seasons' test taking junta.plenty of evidence mind you.check www.pagalguy.com

i ws back at d hotel by 5.45pm.
hd biryani and icecream.it ws hot.might be thats an excuze for the ice cream excess.checked out by 7.30pm.

at the station a malayali hus-pair wife asked me to read out their no. frm the reservation chart as they'd forgotten ther reading glasses.but man they asked to me in tamil!
one day in chennai and i was looking the part already!
and they were mallus.come on fellas, recognise ur brethren!

i gt an upper birth this time.at 10pm i asked the guy below to switch off the light and he glared at me.i gave him a sleepy "come on-cut-the-crap-man" look..

i dnt remember him switching it off, i ws asleep before that.long day out.
and that was chennai.nantri for sparing me from more.


amma - the woman the machine.

her wishes r simple. and justified.
she is d 1 who always asks less, n get lesser.

n whatever God conspires for this rare-taken-for-granted- breed called mothers....i just wish He conspires the best of the lot for my amma...

for all my deeds gone wrong n yet to go wrong....

sorry n loads of love.
happy birthday too.
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seasons change, do we?

"congrats buddies. SNAP snub still hurts."

i posted dis 5 mnts ago in testfunda as they announced SCMHRD final results.
this was d line that broke my bloggers block since last november!
nothing special abt it, myt be dis medium is my resort wen d mind s that much closer to the tipping point...so dat probably xplains the sometimes- intended-sometimes-unintended sabbatical..

chetan bhagat has an apology lined up for mocking the s.indians in his 4 th book...
well i took dat with a pinch of salt as chetan is always all about spice, salt n common sense..
might be i shud agree a bit with him today, [even though i'm a practicing mallu], but after a call i made to a hotel in chennai 2day i cant agree to disagree more..

call got connected to the fon line in kitchen i think!
one cud hear something frying, and since it isnt march yet, i guess i can safely assume it to be the kitchen ...
n i guess d cook picked it up!
bt dat guy knew dat much english to atleast understand me n make me understand him..he politely agreed to connect to resayptionnu..

the horror was the 'reception' guys..

i xpected it to be better dan kitchen, but i wud as well have spoken to a mexican better..
i'm havin second thots on goin 2 dat hotel now..
it went like dis...

"hello is this reception?"

"sollunko swami.."

"err..hmm..english teriyuma.."

"yesu yesu neenke enthu venam?"

"i'm calling from kerala,is dis hotel near railway station?"

"railway station alla...rong nambarru.."

"no no dont keep the fon..fon vaykammattee[i learned tamil by now]..is it near railway station ur hotel.."

"nneenke kocncham hold pannunko [something like dat]...."

i'm holding...i cn hear some tamil music blaring [luckily from the street]..its still loud enuf to reach me as i picturise the 20 year old heroine in 10 year olds dress n 65 year old hero trying to play catch up n other stuff....pss pss i cn hear footfalls n fon bein picked up..

" saar...toow toow foru anchu tennu onennu... 2245101...railway station nambarruu..."

"ok thanks."

now why i said thanks. dont think i am here to see the fun makin side all d time, you dudes dudettes..
whatever english or language ppl let u face with...the attitude i just got was awesome.

that guy just showed what people with heart n a mind can do. even if it was just a small gesture, its magnitude was gud enuf to leave me light hearted for some time after that.
magnanimity was just only a word i found in my vocab flash cards somedays ago, i learned it today.
after that call.


coming bak to my title head, thats a line from dis mallu movie ritu.season it stands translated.thats d theme.
yes they do.
i knw my case atleast to testify that.but is that change beyond a few set mentailities shed or being out of ur comfort zones?
does it catapult you to a whole new world, wer dimensions n boundaries r redrawn n relationships rephrased?

the answer is a an yes.its also a no.
uncertainties r rarther permanent i hv discovered...its nly d format,the level,or the package that changes...we get old, but the mindset ages like a guy with a feb29 bday...

i still got angry wen a rash van broke my rear view mirror, as it happened today morning.
but i gotover it better n quicker,unlike a few years ago.

i liked dat movie.ritu.seasons change, do we?
yes, subtly n wisely, unwittingly n painfully, sometimes wen fate reconciles with life n morale, change is inevitable.


so mahcet is coming up.cat results will be announced dis month.
next month i myt be/cud be- working/stdying/sleeping/blogging/jogging hard...
possiblities r xyz.

somethings n d uncertainty, they just dont change for the average human.